How Body Language Can Make or Break Many Social Situations

How body language can make or break many social situationsI have a confession to make.

It’s all about how I made an absolute fool of myself a few years back.

Even though it only lasted a few moments, it taught me a lesson of a lifetime.

First, you should probably know that I’m not a big guy. In fact, for years, I took a lot of jokes about it and people accused me of having a Napoleon complex.

And you know what?

I guess it was true.

Because I tried to seem bigger by copying some “dominant” body language cues that I saw someone else using. But it always backfired. Instead of bringing me more respect, people brushed me aside. They always talked over me or ignored me when I was trying to share an important concept.

And it was all my fault.

One time, I was in an important meeting. As usual, everyone was talking over me and ignoring me as if I were invisible. I spoke louder and louder. But the louder and more forceful I got, the more I was ignored – and the hotter my temper grew.

After a few tries, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I jumped out of my seat, waved my arms around like an angry monkey, and shouted at the top of my lungs:

“Heeeelllloooooo! Can anybody even HEAR me?!”

Everyone froze and stared at me in silence for what felt like an eternity.

Then, two or three of them smirked at one another with a knowing glance, and then they all started talking again – picking up right where they left off as if nothing had happened.

Well, I’m sure you can imagine what I was thinking. I just sat there for the rest of the meeting, boiling in anger – feeling smaller than I had ever felt in my life.

It was humiliating.

But it taught me a valuable lesson:

My mistake was that I had been trying to use someone else’s dominant body language for years – with gestures, postures, and mannerisms that didn't "fit" me personally.

After years of giving off mixed signals, everyone had learned to ignore me. Instead of making an impact and earning respect, I was just annoying.

Simple as that.

You see, just like a tailored power suit, body language has to fit you as an individual. Trying to borrow a bigger power suit from someone else – expecting their confidence will magically become part of you – only makes you look like a wet clown.

Instead, body language has to match your gender, age, physical makeup, demeanor, personality, aspirations, and so on.

I know because I tried to borrow confidence for years.

What I didn’t know back then was that creating impact and getting respect isn’t about copying other people’s body language at all. Nor is it about pretending to be someone you’re not.

It’s all about developing a body language vocabulary that works for you as a unique individual.

That’s precisely why, right at the beginning of my Body Language Success Code program, we determine your unique communication style first. From there, we work to develop a strong, confident, and positive body language vocabulary that is 100% congruent with your personal style – that precisely fits you like a tailored power suit.

So – if you’d like to avoid making the same mistakes I made, or any other habitual body language missteps just about everyone makes, then my Body Language Success Code program can make all the difference.

You’ll discover exactly how to read and use body language to make incredible first impressions, take control of interpersonal communication, and even stand out in a meeting or interview – without pretending to be someone you aren’t. (Or making a fool of yourself as I did).

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Alan Carniol

Alan is the creator of Interview Success Formula, a training program that has helped more than 80,000 job seekers to ace their interviews and land the jobs they deserve. Interviewers love asking curveball questions to weed out job seekers. But the truth is, most of these questions are asking about a few key areas. Learn more about how to outsmart tough interviewers by watching this video.